2.02am

Somuch going on in my head.

No, it's just you actually.
Turns out you're the answer to my prayers.
He gave me the exact thing I asked for.
And He gave me you.

And that's it.
I asked for a distraction.
And you're the perfect one
Distractions, only.

Now I'm struggling
With the thought of you
The thought of being with you
The thought of memories you made

I love the long rides
I love the sing along rides
I love the gateway ride
And the important thing is
I love being with you

Would you please stop
I know it means nothing to you
I know you've done it million times before
And I did too

But would you just, stop?

But then again
You're the answered prayers
I should've be great full for you

10:45

Bagaimana bisa
Kamu yang ga jelas keberadaannya mengacak-acak hati
Datang dan pergi sesuka hati
Dan bodohnya aku selalu menanti

Bagaimana bisa
Ketika nama mu muncul selalu membuat tersenyum
Ingin rasanya marah pada dunia
Kenapa aku
Kenapa kamu
Kenapa dia

Tapi apa daya

Entah rindu ini untuk siapa
Entah apakah kamu pantas menerimanya
Mungkin aku yang salah
Terlalu larut dalam khayalanku tentangmu

Sudahlah, biar kupendam sendiri
Kalau tak kau beri arti juga pasti mati

😣

I'm afraid i'm a masochist.

No, really.

I've been in bad relationships, which i know it'll hurt like hell. But then, i enjoyed it. Oh gosh. And when it comes to an end, which should be the relief of it all, i'll crave for that "hurting thing" even more.

Sakit.

Sometimes silence is the loudest

Tiba2 napsu banget pengen nulis. Gara2 si ibu satu itu kmaren ngirimin mms. HARE GENE MMS?!!

Sudahlah...

Intinya dia masih gemes bgt ma gue. Knapa jg mesti gemes ma gue? Knapa jg baru sekarang dia nyadarnya? Oh puhlease 😆 sing waras ngalah lah...

Anywaaay, jd ceritanya selama ini gue bner2 kufur nikmat. Ih amit2. Gaenak dikit gue marah2. Klo gaenak banyak lebih parah, bisa marah2 ma Tuhan. Geblek. Gatau diri banget. 

Sampe di satu hari, dimana gue udah ga inget ada permasalahan idup "itu" di idup gue. Gue lagi ketawa ketiwi, lalu terpaku lah mata w ke layar hp. Ada whatsapp dari nama ibu itu. Ngirim image. Apaan deh. Salah kali nih. It's been too long since the day we talk about it. It was on august, i suppose. Dan dia ngirim screen capture. Yg berisi fakta yg selama ini dia gatau. 

Gusti Allah mboten sare, sodara sodara. Dan gua bengong. Merinding. He did amazed me. Ya Allah, sgitunya ya...... Gue inget pernah minta, pernah ngarep, tapi ga pernah ngebayangin bgitu ceritanya. Begitu jalannya. Karena gue inget, di hari itu gue dalam titik pasrah gue. Ngerasa kayak, oh yaudahlah emang asem jalan gue. 

Dan tiba2 tanpa disangka, gue dikasih hadiah hari itu.. Maaf ya gue bilang hadiah, gue tau itu gaenak buat ibu itu, tp gue hepi. Hehehe. 

Gue sama skali gada usaha apa apa lho. Sama sekali. Gak ada unsur kesengajaan gue disitu. Bener bener cuma Dia yg nunjukin, yg ngasih tau. Ceritanya gimana aja gue ga ngerti. 

Jadi pelajarannya kali ini adalah, lo ga perlu yg namanya bales dendam. Lo ga perlu yg namanya usaha mati matian buat nunjukin siapa elo. You just have to work it out, do the goodness, yg penting niatnya baik. gausah ngoyo. Let God do the rest. And you'll be amazed 😎